Out of sight
by Brainiac0909
Summary: What Yami didn’t know when he went to the after-life is that “after-life” is literal. His after-life is Yugi’s “Present-life”. He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, Yami's POV.
1. Prologue

Prologue

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

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One hour after leaving.

_I arrived in the after-life. What a joke. The gods promised me an after-life. What a shock to find myself dropped 3000 years into the future; right into Yugi's hotel room, although I do not immediately recognize it. I am shocked, I do not understand. Why would I be here? As I stand to ponder this question, I move to sit down on the bed, in shock still, unknowing that I am but a spirit, and this is all a nightmare. When I fall to the floor, I realize. And I begin to cry. After all, I do not know where I am, but this is torture. Where is my family? Have I failed? Have the gods left me cursed on this earth? I do not know._

_I hear footsteps outside the closed door. Slow, shuffling footsteps. As the steps get closer, I hear a muffled sound. I rise to my feet, unsure of who or what is coming. Perhaps the gods are coming to me, to explain what is happening. Maybe this IS what the afterlife is. _

_But then, the door opens slowly. It's Yugi! And he is crying! Oh god, what has happened to him? I walk quickly over to him, arms outstretched to wrap him in a hug. _

_And he walks right through me._

_Too stunned for words, for feelings, I watch helplessly as Yugi drags himself over to the bed, and collapses on his stomach, and begins to sob. It breaks my heart, and even more as I know I cannot touch him, hug him, comfort him. I open my mouth to speak, but even before the words come out of my mouth, I know that it is hopeless. _

"_Yugi…?"_

_Yugi freezes. I catch my breath, unaware of the fact that I don't even need to breathe. He turns his head to look around the room, tears streaking down his face, pain in those deep amethyst eyes. Even as my hope is raised, it comes crashing down again, as I realize that again I hear the name called "Yugi…?"_

_It is his friends. He cannot hear me. He cannot sense me. He cannot feel me. But I can feel all of his pain. Why? Why have I been cursed like this? _

_Yugi tells them he is okay, then buries his head in his pillow again. His wracking sobs tear at the very fibers of my nonphysical heart. Oh gods, why am I here? What have I done? Is this hell for me? I need answers but who can give them to me? I just want to bury my head and cry too. But I can't let him see me like this…_

…_he can't see me. Who am I kidding? I am so tired, so confused, and now…so sad. What has happened to him? Why is he so sad? He let me go. I knew it'd be hard, but I wanted to go. And he knew that. He always wanted the best for me. But this…I can't bear this. This hell is not worth his heartache. We're both worse off, both trapped in hell, so close, but millions of dimensions away. _

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There will be more later. This is more like a prologue than anything. Hoped you enjoy!


	2. First Hours

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

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Six hours after leaving.

_I sit here, curled in a ball leaning against the wall. Yugi finally fell asleep. Or more like passed out from grief and exhaustion. I've been watching him, every now and then he'll twitch or moan in his sleep, the moon light falling on his pale, tear-stained face. Even in sleep his face is contorted and pained; a ghost of his former self. A ghost. Hah, my thoughts turn back to my situation. A ghost. Is that what I am?_

_God, what happened to me? Why am I here? I was just here, only 6 or 7 hours ago. Am I back in the puzzle? I need answers, and I don't know where to turn. I thought I was in the after-life. Ha, this is a joke. This is no different. I thought I did everything I needed to do to get my reward. Yugi wanted this for me. He wanted the world for me. The world would be better than this hell no doubt. _

_I wrack my brains for anything, ANYTHING that the priests might have told me. But that was 3000 years ago. A long, long time. And now I am here. I need answers. Should I go back to the tombs? Are the answers for this I seek there? Or is this just a horrible, horrible nightmare? Am I just remembering the life I had with Yugi?_

_Yugi stirs again. I hear him murmur my name in his sleep, another troubled shadow passing over it, even the pure moonlight unable to penetrate the darkness in his face. He's not supposed to be like this. What has happened? I remember walking into the light…the shadowy outlines of other people reaching out to guide me, I think… Then I remember seeing Egypt, and then…I don't remember… _

_All I know is that I'm here. Trapped in this shadow of a life._

_Yugi is still sleeping, I need to find answers. I rise, and walk out of the room, unaware of how I pass seamlessly through the door. _

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_I walk for what seems like hours, when in reality it may have only been a few minutes. I don't know. I walk, to the great pyramids of Egypt; pyramids my father's kingdom built, pyramids that I remember the servants building. I would watch from the palace terraces, as block after block was dragged higher and higher. I was so young. I didn't understand. I was told to not mingle with the servants, "slaves" as my father called them, as they were not of us. I was to stay far away from them, especially because I was royalty. But I loved sneaking out, to explore the tunnels in the pyramids. So I knew right where to go. I walked the tunnels that I had walked a thousand times before._

_To my burial chamber, where my body was after I was trapped in the Millennium Puzzle…_

_My eyes traverse the walls of the burial chamber, looking for any hint of a sign as to this after-life. I was told very little about it. After all, I was so young. And I didn't want to hear any of it. Yes, you could call me slightly irresponsible. I mean, who wants to deal with an issue like death? Sure, there may be an after-life, but I didn't want to deal with it. It's still hard to lose someone you love…_

_I see nothing here. Despairingly, I turn around and around, looking for a clue. I don't even know what I'm looking for. I don't even know if this is the after-life. I DO know that any scroll or papyrus writing is long gone. I mean, I was just here, wasn't I? I walked here in this place, no more than 6 or 7 hours ago, when I was here with Yugi. _

_Yugi…my thoughts turn to him and I redouble my efforts. There has to be something here. _

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_  
_Eight hours after leaving.

_I collapse to the floor in exhaustion. I've been everywhere in these tombs. There are no answers to be found, anywhere. I'm running out of patience. I should know where to look but I am just too confused. I lost my entire identity when I was in the Puzzle. How should I remember anything about the after-life?_

_I sigh, as I slowly rise to my feet, trying to decide what to do next. I know Yugi was going to leave Egypt in a day or two. That leaves me little time, if I'm to follow Yugi home to Japan. But what good does it do me? I can't do anything. As far as he knows, I'm in paradise. Ha, far from that…_

_It's so funny. I'm exhausted, but I can't feel anything. I'm not warm, even though it must be as hot as Ra in here. I just feel…cold…empty…nothing. _

TO BE CONTINUED.

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This is deliberately a non-information chapter. Its more giving more of what is happening to Yami. You'll find out over time what has happened to him. But not quite yet . Oh, the chapters will continue to get longer, and as the story comes to an end, the chapters will get shorter. Count on about 10-12 chapters to this story.


	3. First Days

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

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One Day after leaving (15 hours, day-break).

_After arriving back from the tombs, with still no answers, I walk back slowly to Yugi's hotel room. The hot Egyptian sun had sank while I was in the tombs, and was just beginning its creep over the eastern horizon. A new day. Normally that's a good thing. But not today. I had just a few more hours before Yugi would return to Japan. And I am torn. Do I go back with my hikari, to a place where I will never get answers, or do I stay here, with the chance of finding answers to my problem, but also with the chance of not, and then never seeing Yugi again? I poured over every tomb writing. There is nothing here. I am sure. But I don't know where else to look. Anything I need is long gone. Plundered by tomb robbers and grave-diggers. It could be anywhere in this world…or nowhere at all. Oh gods grant me peace. Please. _

_Please._

_I arrive back at Yugi's room. My light is still sleeping, exhausted from the emotional toll on his soul. I feel so bad. This is my fault. This, therefore, must be my punishment. I see my hikari's pain, but I can do nothing. I, his protector, can do nothing. I want nothing more than to wrap him in a hug, to hold him and tell him it will all be alright. But I can't. I am powerless. I the name-less pharaoh, the savior of the ancient world, who had thousands of servants attending to him, has no power. The thought breaks me, and I fall to the floor again. Exhaustion has taken over, and I crawl next to his bed, and lay down at the foot of his bed. I will stay by him, even if I cannot protect him. If something happens, then far be it from me to keep the gods from punishing me for my selfishness for wanting to go the afterlife. I need to feel the pain that he will here. _

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One Day after leaving (17 hours, day-break).

_I awake to light streaming in through the window. Yugi's bed is empty, his bed sheets tossed on the bed, and falling to the floor. I didn't even feel them. It's funny, I can still be exhausted. I slowly rise to my feet, looking around the room for a clue as to where Yugi has gone. I see his clothes and other possessions still scattered on the floor. Good, he's still here…_

_Somewhere…_

_I move my way over to the table in the corner, looking through the papers on the desk. I realize, with some surprise, that I can move these papers with my hands. Intriguing as this new revelation is, I am too caught up in the search for some information to notice that I can interact with these things. It just seems so natural. _

_Nothing here. I make my way to the door, to go find Yugi, when I stop at the closed bathroom door. I hear the shower running faintly inside. I pause, unsure of what to do. I decide to go back and sit down again, unaware of the fact that I sit down in the desk chair, and not sink through it. Ah well, I will just wait for Yugi and see what he has planned. _

_While sitting here, listening to the soft pitter-patter from the shower, I try and reflect on what I know. I know that I fulfilled every requirement, and that I regained my memories. I also remember that when I was a child, I was told, that when I die, I would go to be judged and sent to the After-world. The after-world. The world… after my own…_

_Hm…_

_As I sit here, staring off into space, I hear the bathroom door open. Yugi comes out, wrapped in a towel, hair dripping wet. I feel the breath catch in my chest, as I see him, his pale, slightly toned body clad in nothing but a towel, hiding nothing but…_

_What?!_

_That's disgusting! I mentally scold myself. What was I thinking? That is not me…I'm still exhausted. I don't know…what is going on… _

_I sigh, as Yugi drops his towel, and out of respect (or is it shame), I hide my eyes. He's my hikari, my light… I cannot corrupt him with my sightless gaze. But why would I be corrupting… NO! God, what am I saying?! I'm just tired, scared, frustrated._

_Yugi pulls on his clothes and begins to grab his belongings scattered around the room. He tosses his bag on the chair I am sitting in, and with no surprise, it sinks right through me. I watch as he almost angrily tosses his cloths and other belongings into his bag, a shadow still seemingly clouding his face. He reaches down to pick up some papers that I had apparently knocked off the desk, and momentarily pauses. I hear his breath catch as I peer through his shoulder to look at what he is holding. _

_It is a photo of him and his friends, right before we went back to the Ceremonial Battle. It doesn't seem like anything special, until I notice a tear drop onto it…right over the Millennium Puzzle._

_I subconsciously look down at my own chest, despite knowing full well that the Puzzle was lost after the tombs collapse. I turn to look at Yugi again, shaking, but desperately trying to hold back the tears. He angrily crinkles the picture in his hands and tosses it in the wastebasket. Just as I feel a stab of rejection tear at my heart from Yugi, I watch as he turns back at pulls the picture up and carefully undoes the creases, and puts it in his back pocket. The sight just breaks my heart further. But I can't do anything about that now. _

_Yugi steps back into the bathroom to gather more of his belongings. At least that's what I think until I hear him throwing up…Ra, I can't bear to see him like this…but then again, I can't let him go back to Domino alone. _

_Then it hits me._

_I know why I couldn't find what I needed._

_The stone tablet._

_In Domino_

_Where my questions were first answered._

_I know where I am going._

_Back HOME._

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Hope you enjoyed! Once I get TEN (10) TOTAL REVIEWS…I will update. Until then!


	4. Back Home

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N: Thank you for all the comments! I'm here to address all the reviews! Don't always expect this, but I want to personally reply to all the reviews I've gotten so far!

Hikari Kame: Thanks for your review! I would prefer if you DIDN'T do a lighter version just yet. Trust me, you'll be surprised by the turns this story will take. I'll let you know when though, and I'm flattered that you would like to do a story like this!

Flawed Nobody & x-hannah-banana-x: Don't worry, this story will be continued! Thank you for the encouragement!

Angelegipcio: ………did you read my mind…….? Hm……….. prepare to be shocked… dark laugh

Yizuki: The issue with what he can touch and can't touch is VERY important, and will be addressed soon.

Yugixyamiyaoilover: Thank you SO much. You were my first reviewer and gave me motivation to continue! As for the after-life, this will be addressed in either this chapter or next.

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Two Days after leaving (late evening).

_We're home. The flight was interesting to say the least. Watching Yugi have to say goodbye to Egypt, to the memories, to the Puzzle, to ME…God, am all I good for is crying? Damn it, the afterlife is supposed to be peaceful. Well, I hope that I find peace here in Domino. This is my last hope to find answers. They have to be at the stone tablet in the museum. That's the only other place I can think of where there might be answers. I don't know what exactly I am searching for, but I just feel a pull. As we walk out of the airplane though, I feel conflicted. I don't want to leave Yugi. But I know it's for the best. With a sigh, I turn my back on Yugi for the second time in two days, and walk away, towards Domino Museum, away from where the car carrying Yugi and his friends is going._

_While I walk, I reflect upon my last thought. "For the best". I said that when I was going to the after-life. Even Yugi said it was "for the best". But here I am, again, leaving Yugi behind. My heart, my breaking heart, tells me that I did something wrong. But how could I have? It's "for the best". If my hikari, my LIGHT says it's for the best…_

…_but then…he always wanted the best for me…even when I didn't. When he sacrificed himself for me with the Orichalcos Seal, when he stopped me from killing Kaiba during our duel in Duelist kingdom, for switching souls with me against Pegasus…He would always do things for the best. But not me, I would mess up._

_Well, I'm going to make it right. _

_My hikari, I will do everything I can to make it up to you. I see the pain you are going through. _

_I redouble my efforts and break into a run. I have to get to the museum. _

_Everywhere I turn, I feel as though the shadows are closing in around me. As dusk turns to dark, the scum of the city begin to emerge. I tell myself that they cannot see me. Still, I feel as though all eyes are on me as I near the museum. At last, I see it as it comes into view. I slowly walk up the steps and silently pass through the doors of the museum, and walk wordlessly towards the basement. _

_Where the tablet is._

_Where my answers should be._

_I need to find it._

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_I look everywhere and again I find nothing. I have walked this cursed museum a thousand times. Nothing is here. I look again at the stone tablet. The thing that once gave me so much hope, is now a thing of despair. I see words. I see words that mention the afterlife. The only thing I read tells me what I already know. I am to go to the after-life, after getting my memories back. Okay, it's a little more complicated than that, but I did everything). Is this truly what the after-life is? _

_I read the script again. Was I not found pure to go to the after-life? Gods, why do you not answer me? I reach out to trace my finger over the lettering. I have no answers. I pound my fist in anger against the stone, catching myself before I fall straight through it. With no answers, I must accept that this IS the after-life, and I am being judged for my actions. I deserve this. I mean, the thoughts I have about my little one…his purity, his light, his form…ugh. What is wrong with me? Seriously, this is out of control. I am a horrible person and a horrible Yami, and a horrible friend…_

_At least I know my hikari still misses (loves?) me… he is so hurt by my leaving. At least I didn't totally ruin it with him…I still meant something to him. _

_God, I am SO DAMN SELFISH. I'm GLAD my light is sad, because it shows that he still cares about me?! How twisted am I? I KNOW that this is the after-life, at least it is hell to me. I understand this. I fulfilled the requirements of the after-life. I have been judged, and found unworthy. And now I am living in this hell. And I have proven AGAIN, that I am a terrible soul. The problem is, I do not know how to be found worthy. And is the after-life, the TRUE after-life worth anything, knowing that I still cause my light pain by not being here? _

_I rise from my fallen position. I am going back to Yugi's. I need to be with him. And I know that that is selfish. But I need him. I unashamedly need him. To see him is like a drop of water to cool my burning tongue, for the agony I am in is unbearable. _

_But before I go, I turn around to gaze once more on the stone tablet. There are so many things I can say to the gods, for this life that they have blessed/cursed me with. This is not the life that I would have chosen for me. But this is the new life that I have been given. I cannot change it, I cannot fight against it. I must accept it. For now, I will watch Yugi from afar. Perhaps it is best for me. My darkness, my perverseness would corrupt him. This is "for the best", for me, and for him. And as hard as it for me to say this, I say to the gods…_

_._

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"_Thank you…"_

_I turn and walk away. Back to my hikari, back to my life. _

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NO, this is NOT the end yet, don't worry! Shooting for an ambitious TWENTY (20) total review! Let me know what you think…No one has figured it out…yet…


	5. First Week Pt 1

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N: Thanks for all the comments! I just ask for them, so I can get some feedback, and even some ideas. One thing I want to remind you all is, this is an ANGST fic, first and foremost. I can't promise a happy ending…at least in the way you might typically think. No one has figured it out yet!

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Three Days after leaving (early morning).

_I make it back to the game shop and walk through the doors, up the stairs, and to Yugi's room. I sigh as I pause outside his door. This is always hard, to see my hikari. When I last saw him at the airport, he simply looked cried out; a sense of hopelessness across his face. I never want to see that look again. But my desire is too great; I can't wait to see him any longer. With a deep breath, I walk through into his room._

_At least he is sleeping. His sleep seems more blessed now. But I know better. His emotions will come back. He will feel pain again. But, I keep telling myself, this is "for the best". It was my mistakes that I made, that have left me cursed. I just wish that the gods would not have cursed Yugi as well, with this heartache. He should not be punished for my misdeeds. _

_Yugi turns over and sighs. I hear a sense of peace escape his lips. At least sleep cures his physical exhaustion. Nothing though, can take care of his emotional exhaustion. Only I can, and I can't do anything for him._

_I set down, leaning against the wall next to his bed, to once again sleep at his bedside. I will be here for him when he awakens. But until then, I will not let him out of my sight. _

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Three Days after leaving (late afternoon)

_I was glad to see Yugi spending time with his friends today. Being back in Domino, with his grandfather and in a familiar setting seems to be doing him some good. We all spent most of the day at the park, just talking, reminiscing about life, future plans, and just random topics in general. _

_I do not know however, what Yugi plans to do himself. He mostly commented on everyone else's plans, showing a soft, kind, attentive side. However, I can tell his mind is truly miles away, back in Egypt, back in the tomb, where he said good bye to me. I wonder what his plans truly are, without me in his life. After helping him become such a prominent duelist, I wonder if he will ever duel again without me. _

_Tonight, he is planning to spend the night at home. I wish he would go out and do something though. We would be spending time right now, going over dueling strategies, or just spending time talking. God, I wish I could just talk to him again. There's so much I wish I could tell him. About how sorry I am for trapping him in this hell. About how much he means to me. And about my deepest feelings, which even I am afraid to admit…._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_That I love him…._

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Five Days after leaving (Mid-morning)

_I hear a noise outside the door. I slowly rise from beside Yugi's bed and head for the door. Carefully, I peer out through the wood. No one is there. But I know someone is there. I carefully walk down the stairs, as to not make any creaks on the old wooden steps. _

_As I make it to the floor landing, I look to see if Grandpa is up and around, but no, I notice a note telling me he went to market. I hear a noise again, and realize it is someone outside. I peer my head through the door, but by then it is too late, the stranger had obviously left. Interest quickly fading, I turn back around and slowly walk through the game shop, making sure nothing is out of place. My eyes slowly scan over the displays of cards, games, and toys. Again seeing nothing, I am satisfied and turn my back on the display and head back into the kitchen to wait for Yugi to rise. _

_I sit down with a groan at the kitchen table. What to do today. I have no idea. I have consented to the fact that answers to my predicament will not come soon, if at all. I have decided that this is the gods punishment. But as to whether I shall escape from this hell remains to be seen. Hmm. _

_I hear the shower running upstairs and footsteps walking around. Good. Yugi is awake. I wonder what we'll be doing. I decide to go upstairs to see if I can deduce any of his plans for the day. But first, I pause and glance outside once more. No one where. Good. Very good._

_Upstairs, I see nothing out of the ordinary to suggest anything. I walk seamlessly through the bathroom door to check out what Yugi has laid out for clothes. Perhaps that will tell me what Yugi's plans are. The steam billows past me as I walk the length of the bathroom. Hmm. Just a pair of pants, short sleeve shirt and jacket. Nothing too out of the ordinary. _

_God, I'm so bored with this life. I'm emotionally chained to whatever my hikari wants to do. How lame, considering how when I was in Egypt, I had servants bending to my every whim. Ah well, this is what I deserve for my thoughts and mistakes. _

_As I am about to leave, I hear the shower switch off and the door open behind me. Out steps my hikari in all his glory, naked as the day he was born, but more so. Before I can do anything, I feel the hitch in my chest as my breath catches, as my eyes glimpse his naked form. _

_Cuts._

_Deep cuts._

_All on the upper parts of his legs, the insides of his arms, and across his chest. Places where I never get to see. Oh god, what is this from? He's cutting…because of me? _

_Would the gods really punish my hikari this much? Is my punishment to watch my hikari die? What can I do to save him? I want to cry out, "this is unfair", but no one is there to listen. This is fair to me, but why does it have to be my hikari that suffers. "THIS IS MY HELL!" I cry out. But it is hopeless. Nothing will change._

_I slowly back away in repulsion, any thought of arousal driven far from my mind at the sight of these ugly red slashes. They scar my light. I stumble back through the door, fall on Yugi's bed, and begin to sob, sobs unaware to anyone who cares to hear._

_._

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…_and I, keep bleeding…keep, keep bleeding, LOVE. You cut me open…_

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A/N: How many of you caught THAT ending??? I wanted to make it longer, but I couldn't add any more without it dragging on. I kind of realize that this is taking the form of almost-like "diary" entries by Yami. I like it, but you are the readers. 25 reviews??? That's only 5 more from when I posted this. Thanks for reading, please review with thoughts, comments, constructive criticism, but no flamers! Until next time…


	6. First Week Pt 2

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N: In case I confused you…there is still more! This is part two of the last chapter, so it's not a full length chapter. But I had to get this out, as a reward to all my faithful readers. Enjoy!

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Five Days after leaving (late afternoon).

_I open my eyes and blearily look at the clock next to Yugi's bed. The room is dark and the clock flashes 6:13 PM. Wow, I do not know if I passed out…what happened…? _

_I remember. _

_I roll over into a sitting up position and try to clear the fog in my mind. What's going on with Yugi? I wonder where he went to. In the confusion, I never did find out where he was. I get up and slowly head to the door, listening for any sounds of life in the seemingly lifeless game shop and living area. I silently creep down the stairs, as to not startle anyone who may be home, but it is fruitless. Yugi and his grandpa are not home; the store is empty, long, sad shadows cast on the floor by the reddening sun and towering game displays. With a long sigh, I, without thinking, look for some note telling me where everyone has gone but to no avail. I, after all, do not exist. _

_I am sad, all alone in this empty room, watching people slowly walk by outside. I decide I am going to walk to the park. I need to clear my head. _

_I head out the door and begin walking into the sun's setting rays. I begin to think of all the things that have happened over these last five days. It has been a whirlwind of events and I am beginning to feel down on myself. Depressed? I guess I could call it that. But even I would never resort to what Yugi has been going through. And I am the "dark" one. I don't even want to be home right now. I can't even stop him. I wonder how long this has been going on. Those cuts look fresh. How would I miss this, I've spent the last five nights at his bedside. And before that, we shared a body. I never noticed scars on our body. But then again, his body is different now. More toned…more shaped…more…_

_I draw in a deep breath of the ever-cooling evening air. I cannot let my mind go there. I came to clear my head. Come on now, breathe…BREATHE… Okay, I'm okay. But I can't go back there tonight. I don't want to see his pain. I've already heard it from his sobs at night. But this is different. _

_I climb up a tree and settle back in the shady branches. I feel the wind blow, but I'm not cold; I'll be fine here. _

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Six/Seven days after leaving (very late night/very early morning).

_I spent a whole day away from Yugi. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. But nothing compared to his hurt. I need to go back to the house. After walking around town during the morning, I decided to head over to the library. Thank heavens the library is not busy during the day. I went around to the back and found other books on ancient Egypt and the after-life. It was a rather fruitless search, but I felt like I needed to keep myself busy. _

_But I'm coming home now. To Yugi. To my hikari._

_It's late and I again creep up the stairs, as to not wake him or his grandpa. But when I get to his room, I notice that his bed is empty. I glance at the clock. 12:13 AM. _

_Strange. My hikari is never out this late. I glance at the clock again. Still 12:13. I nervously chew an invisible fingernail and walk back into the hallway. One quick walk by Grandpa's room and his snoring tells me he is here. But no Yugi._

_Walking swiftly down the stairs, I tell myself that nothing has happened. There has to be a reason for his late arrival. I wonder now if I still am linked in mind to him, but one quick attempt to cross into his mind proves pointless; I have no power here. And besides, what would he think, other than that he is going crazy._

_I fall into one of the deep armchairs in the front room of the living quarters, and peer out the big bay window. Bright lights from passing cars shine brightly through the window, temporarily blinding me, as eerie shadows seem to leap from every corner of the room. Again, I tell myself that I am alone, this time not in sorrow, but in a strange sense of panic and fear. No one can see me. Nothing has happened. I just keep reassuring myself. _

_And now I am cursing myself. I try and keep my mind off my light today, and now I'm spending more energy on worrying than anything. He's probably out spending the night at a friend's house. He probably talked to Grandpa about it. He's probably left Grandpa a note, and Grandpa threw it away. He's probably fine._

_Probably._

_I get up and peer out the window more carefully. No one is in the street. They are bare. It is a silent state, very unnerving. I decide to head into the kitchen to see if there is any note in the trash. But before I make it there I hear a loud bang outside. I dash back through the swinging doors leading to the kitchen, passing right through them in my hurry. It sounded like a gunshot and I just have that feeling…_

_As I round the corner and dash through the front door, I freeze in my tracks. _

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_There is Yugi, frozen on the landing, as some person is in front of him, pushing him into the wall, passionately kissing him._

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A/N: Part two of the last chapter is done! More will be coming soon, I promise! Is 35 reviews too much to ask? Only 5 more from where they were!


	7. One Week Gone

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

**A/N:** Slightly longer chapter this time, to please everyone who wanted more of a novel :) .

Also, I want to answer some reviews. If I didn't answer you, I still appreciate you, but I just want to answer some questions. Many questions will be answered in this chapter, but I'll try and answer some other ones at the END of the story. Thanks again for all the reviews!!!

**WARNING:** There is a rather dark scene coming. Therefore, this chapter is rated M!!! Be forewarned!

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**Seven Days after leaving (very early morning).**

_My eyes bulge as my stomach flips. I want to throw up, but I can't. What is going on? Before I can gain my bearings, I hear another bang as the stranger pushes my hikari further into the wall. I yell "YUGI!" but to no avail. I am shocked and…I don't know. I turn around and run back into the house. There has to be something I can do! I dash frantically into the kitchen; then into the storefront, then into the front room…I'm searching for god-knows-what and, I don't know… oh my god, what am I doing, and…and…I can't breathe, but I don't need to breathe….AHHHHH._

_My God I just need to FREEZE. I feel so damn helpless but seriously, I can't do anything. I have never felt this powerless. I draw a breath, and realize that I have to do something. I run into the kitchen. I grab a knife. I don't care if I scare my hikari, no one is going to hurt him. I run towards the door, knife in hand, and as run through the door, I hear another loud bang. _

_But this time it's me. _

_I'm such an idiot. I can't drag a solid knife through the door! As I go flying and the knife sticks in the door, I run right past them with my momentum. The stranger is still kissing Yugi, and my little one can't even fight back. I don't even know if the stranger is a man or woman. I spin around on my heel and dash back._

_And freeze._

_In shock._

_In my shock the first time, I didn't realize. _

_Yugi is kissing back. _

_Hard._

_He's not fighting at all._

_I sink to my knees._

_My hikari. My aibou. My…my…_

_I can't say it. But why, oh God, WHY does it feel like my heart is being ripped out, piece, by, piece?_

_The darkness feels oppressive as it seems to close around me, as I gasp out, "…yugi…", watching my hikari pull away and slowly lead the stranger through the front door, holding a finger up to his lips. _

_I feel as though the very fabric of time and logic is being torn apart, and I'm falling through the floor. I wordlessly rise to my feet and as though in a trance, I walk forward back into the house. _

_They didn't even notice the knife that had fallen to the floor. The only thing I notice is the trail of shed clothing heading up the stairs; one glance of which I tell that the stranger is another male. Another thing that makes my heart do flips. Yugi might've even fallen for me. But not now. Not after this…And yet, I can't imagine him with anyone else. I know now. _

_I am in love with him._

_And I can do nothing about it. _

_Even from down here I can hear the sounds of a bed rocking. The lack of food in my spiritual stomach notwithstanding, I run to the kitchen sink and begin to dry-heave, only wishing something was there to throw up. I am sick. THIS is sick. This is not right. I don't know if I can ever look at my light again the same._

_Hands braced against the sink, I lift my head back up and stare blankly ahead. Can this get any worse? I pull away from the sink but keep holding on. I am not sure if my legs can support me. Shakily, I take one, then two steps back, and slowly turn around. Well, if I need to get my aibou out of my head once and for all, then this is the way. I go back into the front room, pick up and knife and walk slowly back up the stairs, towards Yugi's room, towards the source of all my pain and heartache. Well, if Yugi is happy…_

…_but if anyone hurts him…I promise nothing…_

_.step._

_.step._

_.step._

_.step._

_I hear more noise, . But I don't know .step. what is happening. I keep walking ._

_.step._

_.step._

_.step._

_.step._

_I wind up on the landing, behind closed doors. If this is what Yugi wants…_

_I draw in a deep breath and stick just my head in the door. _

_There is this man, straddling my hikari, pinning him to the bed. My hikari's head is thrown back in pure ecstasy. But this is not what makes me drop the knife with a clatter. This man is drawing cuts across my light's pure body. I now know where those cuts have come from. They weren't there in Egypt, they are fresh, from no more than a day or two ago. I must've missed it on my days gone away. _

_I am repulsed. I want to wash my eyeballs, cleanse my soul. I want to die. Yugi is getting his kicks from a sadist who scars his lightness. Oh God, what have I done? Has my departure turned my light to darkness? _

_I have to do something. I don't care if I frighten anyone. I can't go to Yugi however. This is what he wants. But I need people to watch out for him. His privacy is not worth him getting hurt. His friends need to know. If he is turning dark, then I need all the help I can get. _

_And yet…_

_I cannot bring myself to deliberately stop my hikari. I am heartbroken, and to stop this one thing, this one REPULSIVE thing that brings my hikari joy that I could not…I cannot bear to stop it. _

_I turn around and run out of the room, just as I hear my hikari let out the loudest cry yet. With a shiver running down my spine, I dash out into the street, just as the city clock strikes 1 AM. I look around wildly, trying to remember which one of Yugi's friends is closest…_

_Remembering, I turn to my left and with head down, run fast towards Joey's apartment, a soft rain beginning to fall through me. I only pray that he is spending the night at Seto's…I need to handle this carefully. My footsteps silently pound on the pavement, tears mixing with the rain falling down, my breath hitching in my side. It's not too late, I tell myself. It's not too late. _

_I keep running, past the prostitutes on street corners, past lonely, broken streetlights, past over-turned trash cans. I'm in the dark side of town. I feel a sense of understanding loom from the darkness. But I can't fathom that now. I'm almost here, almost at Joey's apartment. _

_As I run up, I trip and fall on the slippery pavement. I cry out but the pain is masked. I am on a mission. I pull myself to my feet and walk up the crumbling stone steps of the run-down and boarded-up apartment building. I walk through the graffiti-ed wooden door, and across the chipped black and white marble floor. This old building is dark, the lights off in the lobby. I quickly find the stairs and drag myself up them, floor by floor. Now where was Joey's apartment again? _

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**Seven Days after leaving (early morning, around 7:00 AM).**

_I lean back in the broken wooden chair and sigh deeply. I am worn down to the bones. I finished writing a note for Joey, and now that I am finally decided what I wanted to say, and able to think again, my mind flashes back to what I saw. I put my arms down and bury my face in them. I need to just close my eyes for a second. Thank the gods that Joey was gone. I need to be alone. _

_All I see behind my closed eyes is that man's nakedness on top of my light. As heartbreaking as that was, what broke me was seeing the cuts being drawn across my aibou. Over and over again. I knew my hikari couldn't be cutting. But seeing this is, someone else doing it is even worse. I break down again, sobs wracking my body. What has driven him to do this, to draw so much pleasure from something that causes so much pain?_

_I wipe my eyes and look up again at the note I wrote; the final draft of what seems to have been a thousand. I just don't know if this will cover it. But I need to try._

To Joey Wheeler:

I know you are a friend of Yugi's. He needs some help from you and your friends. He may seem fine, but he's not. Make sure you watch out for him. He needs you all in his life more than you know right now. I can't do it myself. He won't listen to me. But he will listen to you. Tell him you care. Tell him all how much he means to you. Because I can't. And that is what he needs most right now. I'm watching out for him, and doing the best I can. But there is nothing more that I can do. Yugi has good friends in you. Don't let him down.

-An old friend of Yugi's back in town.

_God, it took me five hours to write this? I know it's vague. I know it sucks. But I don't want to make this situation worse by letting them know that I am back. It will just make it worse. I don't know how Joey will act to this. I mean, to him, it seems like someone broke into his apartment. I just hope he takes it seriously and that he'll listen to me. I just hope, its enough… _

_I need to get out of here before Joey comes home. I tuck the note away on the only free space on the cluttered table. With one last sorrowful glance, I turn around and walk out of the apartment and into the trashed hallway, into the sunrise shining through the broken and boarded-up windows at the end of the hallway. And walk straight into Joey Wheeler, stumbling up the steps with a drunken look on his face of a night well spent. _

_I sigh. _

_I hope that Joey can take what he's about to find._

_I walk slowly down the stairs again and head out into the street. I don't know what I'm going to do though. I decide to prop myself up against the wall of the building and close my eyes. I'm running on fumes, and this way, I'll be able to see if Joey leaves again. But for now, I need to sleep. God I hope I wake up soon from this never-ending nightmare. I close my eyes against the blinding sunrise and prop up against the cold brick wall. As cold as my heart feels. _

_Cold._

_But just as I'm drifting off to sleep, I hear the front door of the apartment building fly open, and see a now much more alert Joey fly out, cell phone to his ear, walking quickly up the street, talking frantically. I hope he's doing what I think he's doing. I slowly rise, as much as my tired body protests, and slowly jog off after him. I need to put my own needs of exhaustion aside. This, and Yugi are more important. _

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** A/N: To answer some questions:**

**x-hannah-banana-x:** Yami isn't a guardian angel exactly, even though he's acting like one. He is in fact in HIS afterlife. This is what he gets. As to whether the gods do something about it remains to be seen. But what is happening to Yugi is REAL.

**Tyrant Dragon Knight:** As you can see from this chapter, Yugi isn't cutting himself, someone else is. And Yugi seems to like it…

**Angelegipcio:** Yami doesn't feel bored with having to follow Yugi. He's totally infatuated with him, but he just can't bring himself to admit it, until about now.

**yamiandyugi11:** There is a reason why he could touch the bed. And there is also a reason why he can now feel cold. In the previous chapters, he couldn't feel temperature. Now he can. Hmm…

**yugixyamiyaoilover:** There's more to Yugi's lover than meets the eye. Don't lose too much faith in me…yet…dark laugh…lol.

**Chain:** Yami isn't THAT bored; to study his aibou that intently. He's on a mission now!

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THANK YOU for the reviews, they are the biggest form of encouragement you can give! Please read and review, not for an update, but because you want to express something. I'll update soon, but this update won't be based on reviews. BUT DO ANYWAYS!

Don't worry, there is more to this story than meets the eye. It gets better and better!

Until next time!


	8. Time passes, A Pivotal Chapter

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N: I know that I have frightened some people with what's going on with Yugi. I can't promise that THIS chapter will get any better, but there are only about three chapters left! And it STILL is a YxYY fic. The end part of this chapter might answer some questions, and hopefully win back a few readers.

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**Seven Days after Leaving (mid-morning)**

_Joey is finally off his phone and heading back into the center of town. I'm so tired I'm having a hard time keeping up with him. But it seems like he is finally slowing down. Outside of a coffee shop, where I know my hikari has gone with his friends before. I watch through the glass panes as Joey walks in, orders an espresso and sits down at a large booth in a darker corner of the shop. He pulls out what I recognize to be the note I wrote to him; albeit crumpled and slightly torn, but still, my last lifeline to this life. _

_At least Joey seems to be taking my message seriously. He takes a sip of espresso, coughs, and mouths a curse word. I let out an exhausted chuckle. It seems like Joey forgot how strong espresso is. I won't forget though. My mind day-dreams back to that one time…_

_After winning the Battle City Tournament, I remember when Grandpa and all of Yugi's friends threw him a huge celebration party. That was a happy time, before the whole Orichalcos mess, at one of the best times in our relationship…_

_That was a long day of fun, but it came time when Yugi was at the point of exhaustion. We decided to go to bed, but Yugi wanted to talk to me for awhile. So I remember him drinking a double-espresso to stay awake. God that was bitter crap, but my aibou seemed to like it…kept him talking until near daybreak…_

…_then he collapsed and slept for 17 straight hours. Ha. That was a fun night…_

…_maybe it was lack of sleep, or just a good mood, or, I don't know…Yugi just wanted to talk. We talked about everything under the sun then. But then I messed up with the Orichalcos thing, and our relationship was just never quite the same. _

_I jump as I hear a clattering of footsteps behind me. Its Tea, Ryou, Tristan, even Seto. Seto, running? A humorous sight, if not for the serious nature of this meeting. As they open the door, I walk in behind them, a gust of cold air conditioning blowing back my hair. I follow Yugi's friends over to the booth and sit down next to them in the booth. _

_Joey is now showing them all the note, reading it out loud. I, in turn, am watching the facial expressions of his friends. There is not any shock or disgust, only a piqued curiosity. I'm getting frustrated. Now they are starting to yell at Joey, for dragging them out of bed at this early hour. I feel my blood beginning to boil. They are telling Joey that someone's punking him, or that something happened last night with him and Seto and they just forgot. Now Tristan is punching Joey on the arm while Tea is rolling her eyes. They are laughing now, and seem to have completely forgotten what was going on. Seto volunteers to buy them all coffee, an idea that everyone seems to appreciate. Joey just shrugs his shoulders as people make their way up to the counter and crumples the note back up in his pocket._

_I bang my fist down on the table, without making a single sound. I'm not just sad now, I'm angry. When I get angry, that is not a good thing. I storm out of the coffee shop, angry tears glistening in the corners of my crimson eyes. It's not fair. But it's again, all my fault. I should've been more specific. And honestly, if I was in Joey's position, what would I think? If I wasn't hungover like he seemed to be, I would've just tossed the note in the trash as a joke. But still…how would a note like that get in my apartment, or how one of Yugi's old friends would know where I live? _

_I hang my head. Of course it was a stupid idea. The tears are flowing faster now. I am so glad people can't see me or hear me. I sniff, take a deep breath and walk back slowly in the direction of the Game Shop. I don't know why I'm walking back there, but I don't really have anything else to do… _

_While I am walking, I'm having an argument in my head. My hikar…NO, Yugi, is happy with this life he's chosen, and his friends don't seem worried. Maybe they already know even…maybe the gods ARE making Yugi happy. I just don't understand. He seemed so upset in Egypt…_

…_probably because he didn't have his lover comforting him…_

_I have to stop interfering. I don't really know what else to do, but I have to move along. I'll go back to the Game Shop for now and then hopefully come up with a plan of what to do next. Maybe I'll find a way back to Egypt. I just don't belong here. I just know in my heart that I should stop trying to get to Yugi. It's over for me, but his life is just beginning. _

_I arrive at the Game Shop but don't have the courage to go in. What if Yugi and his lover are still inside? I couldn't bear it. I sit down on a bench in the shade opposite the Game Shop. Suddenly exhaustion takes over and my eyes close and I drift off to a fevered sleep. _

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**Eight Days after Leaving (around 1:00 AM)**

_My eyes fly open suddenly as I hear a car backfire. I glance up at the big city clock towering over the buildings. 1:18 in the morning. Wow, I was out for a long time. I wipe the dried tears out of my eyes as they adjust to the bright streetlight shining over head. _

_I am disturbed by what I see, but not shocked. Nothing could shock my soul any more. There is Yugi, leading another person that I don't recognize into the back of the Game Shop. But still, I can't believe that Yugi is going through boyfriends this fast. He's living so dangerously. _

_But maybe that's just my guilt talking. He could know these people, he might be using protection, he's a sensible person, he would tell his friends if something was wrong…_

_Right?_

_Unable to take the sight of Yugi kissing the second (or is it more?) stranger in two days, I get up. I have to leave town for awhile. I need to somehow get to the airport, take some time for myself in Egypt. I know some people will call me uncaring, but until I can think rationally again, there's nothing I can do. _

_I get up, cast one more sorrowful glance in Yugi's direction. He just pulled this new stranger through the door, and I can see the stranger playfully chase him up the stairs. _

"_Yugi, when I come back, hopefully I will have a better life plan than the one you are choosing for yourself right now…"_

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**Forty Two Days after Leaving (late afternoon)**

_I am back in Domino. Egypt was good for me, I think, and I spent more time researching the after-life. But nothing can explain why I am here, or why I can no longer phase through solid objects. I appear to truly be a first time case. But I was able to clear my head. _

_But I have to come back. I have a better sense about me. I have come to accept that I can't rule over Yugi's life. If we WERE meant to be, I wouldn't do that to my aibou. I love him. I can say that now. The struggle in my soul is over whether to do what I think is best for him or what he think's is best for him. But I have come to terms with the fact that in any partnership, I need to trust him. It kills me to say that. But I can't force him to love me. _

_It has been a long time. But I couldn't bring myself to come back. I will live out my time here in this after-life, and only hope that one day I will pass on to a better life than this one. _

_I exit the airport terminal, and step into the bright sunlight. It feels as though I never left. But I have to say goodbye to Yugi. Then I will be out of his life for good. But I want him to know that I have been looking out for him, but I am letting him go. I don't want to worry him so I will tell him the afterlife is good. And it will be. I need to let it be. _

_I walk back towards the direction of the Game Shop. It's a good 15 miles and I reflect on what I want to say to Yugi. I have to be delicate with what I want to say. But as I'm walking, I feel as though each step is lighting up the path I need to take, both in life, and in this letter. _

To Yugi:

As you are reading this, you are probably wondering what this is about. You may be feeling shock, disbelief…I don't know. A long time has passed since I used to be able to know what you were thinking. But I want to tell you some things.

It's me, your mou hitori no boku. You need to believe that this is me. Only I would ever call you that.

First, I have indeed passed to the after-life. And that I miss you. I have this one chance to tell you this, and I want you to know the truth. I have seen the choices you have been making. Those choices break my heart, but if they make you happy, then be happy. Just be careful.

Second, I am going to let you live your life the way you want to. I would do anything, as I said, to see you happy. You were, you ARE my light, and I will never forget how much you meant to me, and how much you've done for me.

And finally…Yugi…My hikari…My aibou, I love you…

And if I could have another chance, I would stay with you in a heartbeat, just so I could have told you that in person. But this is the best that I can do. I hope you don't think too terribly of me from this point on.

Aishiteru, Yugi,

Yami

_I complete the letter and get up from Yugi's desk. I managed to sneak in as a customer walks in, and I quietly walk up the stairs to Yugi's room. Yugi and his Grandpa are busy cleaning up the shop and I know I would have enough time to finish this. I just know, this letter is from the heart, and that while it may not be the best thing I could write, it gets the point across. _

_As I am getting up however, I knock some of Yugi's things to the floor. I bend down to pick them up, cursing myself for making a noise. However, something catches my eye. A black book, with the Eye of Horus on it, the mark of the Millennium Items. I pick up the book and begin flipping through it. I gasp, a sense of understanding coming over me._

"_Oh Yugi…"_

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A/N: People are starting to figure out what's happening, and that makes me very happy! I'm glad it's not TOO confusing! Sorry for the cliff-hanger, but I need SOMETHING to make sure people keep coming back, right?

I do want to address the reviews about Yugi's lovers; they are NOT any people from the series. Yugi is meeting random people for sex…you'll find out why in the next chapter! Until then,

KEEP REVIEWING! Thanks a ton!


	9. Time is Running Out

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N: I know that I have frightened some people with what's going on with Yugi. I can't promise that THIS chapter will get any better, but there are only about three chapters left! And it STILL is a YxYY fic. The end part of this chapter might answer some questions, and hopefully win back a few readers.

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**Forty Two Days after Leaving (Early Evening)**

_My hands are shaking as I set down the book. I slowly sit down on the bed, and then lay back as my head is spinning. The words I just read are flashing before my eyes like a neon sign._

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Dear Diary,

I said six weeks ago that my life was ending. Now it truly IS ending. I suppose I deserve this. I tried to find fulfillment in my life. But it is catching up with me. I thought that all that sex would bring about some sort of relationship, at least with one of them. After all, Joey and Seto are so happy together… I just wanted someone to fill the void after Yami left. But sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Recklessness couldn't, for one minute, keep my mind off of Yami…

God I miss him. I wish I would have told him that I loved him before he left. Maybe he would've stayed. He would've been the one to tell me how stupid I was, fucking for the fun of it.

But today, I got the letter. AIDS. I knew it, after that one motherfucker told me he had it. I just didn't expect it to come on so fast. It's a curse…not because I'm gay, but because I messed up. Yami wouldn't want to see me like this. I hope that the after-life is all that he hoped for…and that if I get a chance to see him again, that he'll forgive me.

Grandpa doesn't know. I don't know how I'll tell him. I only can hope that he'll forgive me. It's the last thing I can hope for. That, and a new life with Yami…

I'm not afraid to die. I'm not depressed, I just want to die, because I can be with my love. If the after-life is paradise, then I hope that Yami is part of it.

-Yugi

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_What. _

_Have._

_I._

_Done?_

_The ceiling keeps spinning faster and faster and faster. Everything is starting to make sense. My becoming more human, the reason I never died…We're two halves of the same whole. I can't be apart from Yugi. This is the after-life. It's the world __after__ my life in Egypt. But I'm still on earth, I'm still in this realm, because our souls can't be apart. I was becoming more human, I was coming back to this world._

_But now…_

_Yugi is dying. His spirit can't handle the separation. The AIDS, the self-destructive behavior, all wreaking havoc on him. His life energy is giving out. _

_He's lost the will to live…_

_To confirm my suspicions, I pick up the diary again and begin flipping through the pages. Here is an entrance from about two weeks ago. _

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Dear Diary,

I am freaking out. That one guy from last night, idiot, told me he had AIDS. What if I get it? Am I going to die?

And yet, I'm trying to freak out. It just feels like the right thing to do. But I feel okay with it I guess. Maybe I will see my Yami again.

God I miss him.

-Yugi

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_This was when I was in Egypt. I would've known something was wrong…I let him down AGAIN! I was by myself, while he was going through even more hell than I could imagine. I turn to some earlier pages still._

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Dear Diary,

Joey called me today. Normally I wouldn't think that that's weird. But it was. He was prying. More than usual. Not just the usual "hey how are ya, buddy?" but asking what I've been doing with myself lately. I know I haven't been around lately, but come on, cut me some slack. They just don't understand. That's why I haven't been talking to them lately I guess. But I don't know how to not seem mean…

And then, Tea called yesterday. And then Ryou came by to see if I wanted to go to lunch then. Even Seto sent me an e-mail just now telling me to come check out some new dueling technology. All in like 3 days. I know they care. It seems like they're caring too much! I never thought I'd say that.

-Yugi

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_So his friends DO care…I choke back the tears coming again, as I once again turn to earlier page._

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Dear Diary,

Did I really do what I think I just did? I had sex with a near complete stranger.

…And I liked it. He just swept me off my feet. I would never have done that if Yami were here. It was so amazing. He's coming over tonight. I just hope Grandpa doesn't wake up. But we should be fine. I just hope I don't scream too loud snicker.

It doesn't feel quite right…but I guess I just need some practice. Oh, I hear the door bell. I gotta quick get dressed. I'm heading out with the gang for awhile. And then…

-Yugi

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_Not knowing how much more I can take, I, with a shaking hand, turn to the very first entry, dated the morning after I left for the after-life. What little breath is left in my lungs is taken when reading this, the words I had wanted so desperately to hear. _

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Dear Diary,

You are my new confidant. I need some place to get my feelings out. My feelings of betrayal, of abandonment, of heartbreak, of despair. I lost the love of my life yesterday. All because I could not tell him myself. I deserve this. But god, this pain is too much to bare. I know time will pass, and friends will fade. But they say you will never forget the one you love…The heartache will soften, but my heart is scarred. I don't want to go on. But I have to. For Yami, for my mou hitori no boku.

But it is so hard. My heart is breaking. And I don't know if I have anyone who can pick up the pieces for me.

We leave Egypt in just a few hours. I can't say goodbye to Egypt. It's my last connection to Yami. I just can't do it…thank god for friends. I couldn't do this on my own anyways.

The sun is rising over the pyramids. Goodbye Yami. Enjoy the after-life. I can only hope you find someone who will love you as much as I did…

-Yugi

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_I need to just close my eyes for a minute. The overwhelming emotions are just too much to hold. The note I was going to leave, I don't even know if it says the right things now. I glance at it. It does indeed tell Yugi of my emotions. But he is dying now. That explains why I can feel more human now. His life is expiring. And as his opposite, I am slowly taking his place. Soon, I will be human enough. To tell him in person. I can only hope that he doesn't die before that. I pick up the note I was going to leave him, and attach a quick P.S. to it._

P.S.

I will see you soon my hikari. But only if you want to see me. Give me another chance? I promise I won't let you down like last time…

_I drop the note on his desk, and collapse in the chair in the corner of the darkened room, shutting my eyes, as waves of excitement, grief, fear, happiness, pain, heartache, too many to name wash over me in sleep. At least I will be close for when Yugi sees my note._

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A/N: Only one more chapter (or two, depending on how it plays out). I'm still not ENTIRELY sure how I want to play this out. Most of your questions should be answered, but the ending is still up in the air! Thank you all SOOO much for reading, and REVIEWING! You guys are AWESOME!

Please continue to REVIEW though! THANK YOU!


	10. The Final End Or the New Beginning

What Yami didn't know when he went to the after-life is that "after-life" is literal. His after-life is Yugi's "Present-life". He is confined as a spirit, able to see Yugi in his world from afar, but unable to interact with him. Minor YxYY, all from Yami's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

A/N: I wanted to get out the ending to this story. Its short, but there is an explanation for WHY at the END of the story. ENJOY!

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**Forty Three Days after Leaving (very early morning)**

_My eyes flash open as I hear footsteps come slowly up the stairs. It must be Yugi. But for a change, it's not the rushed footsteps of an excited lover, but the dragging footsteps of a broken heart, one tired of running. I glance around my settings and realize it is dark, and I am hidden shielded by the darkness. I rub my eyes as I hear the door open, and I freeze. Yugi is walking in, choking back what sounds like tears. From his body silhouetted in the hallway light, he looks literally like a shadow of his former self. Not the vibrant, happy kid I used to know; now, a slumped over, sickly young man, who has been through too much for anyone._

_I stay frozen in the chair, hoping he doesn't notice me. But in the darkness provides me good cover, as Yugi walks past, glancing for just a moment at the chair, where I wait with baited breath. He continues to the desk and walks over and pulls out his chair. I suddenly realize, with shock, that I left the diary with note in it on his desk, in a corner, not where I found it. I pray that he doesn't notice but he is too consumed with his feelings to notice as he subconsciously takes the black book and begins to open it. _

_But then he pauses._

_I can only see his side-profile, but it is enough to see him take in a breath as he notices the note sticking no more than one-eighth of an inch out the top. I realize that he thinks his grandpa has discovered his diary and left him a note, as a glimmer of fear passes over his face. He slowly pulls out the note and begins to slowly, deliberately unfold each crease. _

_I slowly rise to my feet, silently, and step behind him, afraid of the fact that he can actually see me. As I do, I sense his eyes scanning the page. The tension in the room can be cut with a knife. I have no idea what is going through his head. Out of the corner of my eye though, I see his lips contort._

_Into a small, sad, smile. _

_There he sits, tears silently streaming down his face. I can wait no longer. I know that if I can touch things, I'm sure my hikari can hear me. After all, we share the same soul. I slowly, SLOWLY walk forward and wrap my arms around him from behind. I feel him jump slightly but then slowly relax._

_I slowly feel him turn around and stand up, arms still wrapped tightly around my waist, as he buries his head into my chest. We just stand there like this._

_There is a time for talk, a time for love, a time for understanding. _

_This is a time for being._

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****Epilogue****

**One Hundred and Ninety Four Days after Leaving (one rainy afternoon)**

_I stand with the others, on this dark and dreary afternoon. _

_A fitting day, to match the fitting mood._

_As everyone else eventually walks away, I still stand there. Again a spirit, again invisible. We have both passed on, so we are both…_

…_together…_

_I kneel down by the tombstone where Yugi is sitting. For the first time, I see that the pain has gone away. He is whole again. I take him by the hand, as he gets to his feet. _

_As I do so, the clouds begin to part, and a watery sun begins to poke through the clouds. We shyly smile at each other, as I put my arm around his shoulder. He just looks up at me and nods his head as we start walking out of the graveyard. Walking towards our new life. _

_In the after-life._

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A/N: Okay, okay, OKAY! I know this was very short and rather abrupt. But I wanted to get the ending out for my fans, and in a way, I want it to be very limited in words. If you notice, Yugi and Yami say nothing in words, even in this chapter to each other. It's an unspoken affection.

HOWEVER, I know there are probably some questions people want answered. IF I get enough, (like more than 15) reviews telling me to, I will write one FINAL chapter that tells what happens between the ending and the epilogue. I WAS going to write it, but it got to just be filler, and I wanted to leave it out, unless you all tell me otherwise!

I want to give a huge shout out to ALL the people who have stuck with this story. This is the first one I've written, and I promise you it will NOT be the last! Thanks you too for all the reviews! They literally keep a desperate writer like me going. MUCH APPRECIATED.

But until the next chapter…


	11. Not an update BUT

Not an update but……

Hey all, just wanted to let you know. I WILL do the additional chapter. I'm just running into some writer's block, but it will be up soon, I PROMISE!

But in the mean time…

PLEASE check out my new story, "Summer Heat"

It's a YxYY fic that will be a lot LONGER than this was, chapter length-wise. Yami majorly messes up and Yugi is not the Yugi we all remember.

It will keep you interested until I come out with the last chapter for this.

BUT IT IS COMING! ^__^


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